Can I start off by saying that getting married is something that I highly recommend. For those who are ready for it, of course.
I mean, being married has been everything I ever hoped for and more. It's changed me and helped me learn things that I could not have learned anywhere else or any other situation and I am better now.
Once I hit YEAR ONE of being married almost EVERYONE told me CONGRATULATIONS! "- you've made it past the hardest part."
Excuse me?
That was sincerely one of the best years of the 23 I've got under my belt. Could things possibly get any better?
I'm not saying that Austin and I have a perfect relationship and that everyday is right out of the "How to be Married" book...
I'm saying that we know each other and we know each other well. We know how to push each other's buttons, and we usually prefer not to.
Nobody has a perfect marriage. And you won't. But that's what makes it interesting, and that's what makes it fun!
You wouldn't believe the obstacles, the number of decisions you have to make together. The number of decisions your spouse will make to reach their own goals that you'll have to give up who knows what to reach their goal with them.
Because love and marriage involves so much sacrifice,
You can't be afraid to be the one who loves most.
What are you willing to give up? What is your spouse willing to give up to ensure you're getting what you need, that your glass is half full?
A successful marriage rarely has a husband and wife who are strong together and at the same time. You take turns being strong for each other. You take turns making life easy and happy.
And sometimes that changes daily!!
Something that Austin does that makes me feel loved on the daily... No matter what he's doing, he drops everything the moment I get home from work, gives me a kiss and asks me how my day was.
And,If I get home before him, he does the same thing. Comes and finds me and asks me how my day was.
I feel special and valued. I feel trust and I tell him exactly what's going on.
IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.
And couples fight. Even married ones.
Couples fight...
COUPLES FIGHT?!
It's shocking, but yes.
You're allowed to, promise. It's a part of life and it's part of building a stronger relationship.
When I first married Austin and when we first argued, my mind was blown. Like.. HELLO. We were in Love?! Why are we fighting?! I felt so much weight on my shoulders when we fought, I thought it would never end, whether it lasted 10 minutes or not.
I learned so much from it. I learned that, being married.. there is no rule against fighting.
But I feel like there are rules to fighting fair.
5 of my favorite are listed below:
#1 - Don't Fight in Public
just don't. It gets you heated and you can't release that in front of... everyone. So it stays tucked in until you get in the car, or until you get home. It makes you uncomfortable and it makes both of you want to leave wherever you are, usually all too soon.
#2 - Don't Go to Bed Angry
big one. Austin and I never do this. We did once. And the argument continued on the next day.. and was actually worse when I woke up. I was more upset that it had festered over night! Kiss your honey goodnight and tell them you love them. Not that you like them, necessarily. But that you love them. Because you do!
#3 - Eliminate words like Always and Never
don't make your love feel sad. most of the time, neither of you have ever done this before. You're different people, it's not fair to critique your spouse and tell them what they always and/or never do. If you have a problem with something they're "always" or "never" doing, have a loving conversation about it. Help them improve! They will most likely have a thing or two for you to work on as well, lucky you!
#4 - Remind Yourselves that you're on the Same Team
what are you even arguing about? You want the same things, right? All in all, you have the same goals and the same motives to love each other. LOVE EACH OTHER. Where will the conversation you're having with your spouse end at? Is it worth the fight, or can this be talked about in another way?
#5 - Don't vent. To your Mom. To your Best Friend. To Facebook
this is between you and bae. You don't need other opinions or input. Be a grown-up and talk to the person you married. Learn to solve problems quickly, coureously, respectfully and openly like adults and in a mature way. If you want sympathy, I promise that that comes from your partner after a good long sorry & make-up.
and often, make-out.
Learn to disagree without getting angry. Learn to disagree with out being disrespectful. Learn when to stop the argument before it turns into a verbal war. Avoid saying words that you'll regret saying.
In marriage, you often have to lose an argument in order to win your spouse. Usually, whenever one spouse always wins, the marriage loses.
It's just not worth it.
Inspire your spouse! Be every reason why they tell everyone that YOU are the reason why.
Once I hit YEAR ONE of being married almost EVERYONE told me CONGRATULATIONS! "- you've made it past the hardest part."
Excuse me?
That was sincerely one of the best years of the 23 I've got under my belt. Could things possibly get any better?
I'm not saying that Austin and I have a perfect relationship and that everyday is right out of the "How to be Married" book...
I'm saying that we know each other and we know each other well. We know how to push each other's buttons, and we usually prefer not to.
Nobody has a perfect marriage. And you won't. But that's what makes it interesting, and that's what makes it fun!
You wouldn't believe the obstacles, the number of decisions you have to make together. The number of decisions your spouse will make to reach their own goals that you'll have to give up who knows what to reach their goal with them.
Because love and marriage involves so much sacrifice,
You can't be afraid to be the one who loves most.
What are you willing to give up? What is your spouse willing to give up to ensure you're getting what you need, that your glass is half full?
A successful marriage rarely has a husband and wife who are strong together and at the same time. You take turns being strong for each other. You take turns making life easy and happy.
And sometimes that changes daily!!
Something that Austin does that makes me feel loved on the daily... No matter what he's doing, he drops everything the moment I get home from work, gives me a kiss and asks me how my day was.
And,If I get home before him, he does the same thing. Comes and finds me and asks me how my day was.
I feel special and valued. I feel trust and I tell him exactly what's going on.
IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.
And couples fight. Even married ones.
Couples fight...
COUPLES FIGHT?!
It's shocking, but yes.
You're allowed to, promise. It's a part of life and it's part of building a stronger relationship.
When I first married Austin and when we first argued, my mind was blown. Like.. HELLO. We were in Love?! Why are we fighting?! I felt so much weight on my shoulders when we fought, I thought it would never end, whether it lasted 10 minutes or not.
I learned so much from it. I learned that, being married.. there is no rule against fighting.
But I feel like there are rules to fighting fair.
5 of my favorite are listed below:
#1 - Don't Fight in Public
just don't. It gets you heated and you can't release that in front of... everyone. So it stays tucked in until you get in the car, or until you get home. It makes you uncomfortable and it makes both of you want to leave wherever you are, usually all too soon.
#2 - Don't Go to Bed Angry
big one. Austin and I never do this. We did once. And the argument continued on the next day.. and was actually worse when I woke up. I was more upset that it had festered over night! Kiss your honey goodnight and tell them you love them. Not that you like them, necessarily. But that you love them. Because you do!
#3 - Eliminate words like Always and Never
don't make your love feel sad. most of the time, neither of you have ever done this before. You're different people, it's not fair to critique your spouse and tell them what they always and/or never do. If you have a problem with something they're "always" or "never" doing, have a loving conversation about it. Help them improve! They will most likely have a thing or two for you to work on as well, lucky you!
#4 - Remind Yourselves that you're on the Same Team
what are you even arguing about? You want the same things, right? All in all, you have the same goals and the same motives to love each other. LOVE EACH OTHER. Where will the conversation you're having with your spouse end at? Is it worth the fight, or can this be talked about in another way?
#5 - Don't vent. To your Mom. To your Best Friend. To Facebook
this is between you and bae. You don't need other opinions or input. Be a grown-up and talk to the person you married. Learn to solve problems quickly, coureously, respectfully and openly like adults and in a mature way. If you want sympathy, I promise that that comes from your partner after a good long sorry & make-up.
and often, make-out.
In marriage, you often have to lose an argument in order to win your spouse. Usually, whenever one spouse always wins, the marriage loses.
It's just not worth it.
Inspire your spouse! Be every reason why they tell everyone that YOU are the reason why.
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